Weight Gain Pain

People have always known me as perpetually skinny. I’ve been underweight for, well….forever. Whether it was as a young child, a teen or an adult, my height/weight ratio was never balanced. I’ve endured every skinny joke in the book and I can assure you that none of them are received with a great amount of humor. Whether it is for better or worse, time has flipped the scales now and people are starting to notice.

There was a brief month or two in the Philippines where my physique was phenomenal. I was looking gooooooooood. Shortly thereafter I went on the poverty diet and made the transition from normal to skinny and then on to gaunt. God carried me past those challenges and before long I was just plain skinny again. Nothing sensational about that but at least all was normal in Jon’s weightless world.

The scales have somewhat tipped now. Something happened back in March that remains unidentified. Maybe it’s because I stopped exercising completely or perhaps it’s because Skinny got bored one day and decided to go find a new home. The more probable theory is that I am officially old. I have now hit peak life and the rest is downhill from here. In March I gained approximately fifteen pounds.

Despite the sudden onset, there was no more accrual and I am otherwise in good health. The additional weight might appear to be a welcome thing but the sad fact is that most of it became glued to my stomach. The additional weight on my belly coupled with my boney chest made me look a little like E.T. Once I saw the jiggle of love-handles in the mirror, I knew something had to be done!

Needless to say I’m exercising again. Well, sort of. It’s more like basic calisthenics than a true exercise regimen but it’s certainly more than I’ve been doing in the past months. Apparently 120 words per minute all day doesn’t burn a lot of calories, go figure. Any way, I think an hours worth of fatigue a day should do the trick to even out the belly and get the muscle tone to return lest one day I wake up, stare at my feet and realize I can’t see my manhood. Ultimately it’s worth it. Sexy never left so I can’t bring him back but I sure can make his ego much easier to please and a little pain is definitely worth that.

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