Resolute

Twenty-Thirteen. Finally. Twenty-twelve was a roller coaster and I’m glad to have all the loops over with (I’m hoping it’s over with). Job layoffs in the early part of the year created undue stress and, in the last 5 weeks of the year, more people I know died than I’ve seen in all my years combined. I celebrated New Years not looking for the excitement of another turning page but with the anticipation that there might be light at the end of the tunnel.

Job stress I can suck up and deal with but the deaths were extraordinarily difficult. First there was the passing of Jennilynn followed by A co-worker who lost his wife and one of his children to a car wreck [on an intersection I drive past every day]. This was followed by a neigbors death locally and then cappedColorado off with the death of another close neighbor in the Philippines. Has the reaper no weariness? I try to make sense of it all but I know there is no rhyme of reason to be had within the shell of my understanding.

And then there’s life and hope that find their way ever present….

Snow is something my wife loves. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder and the absence of snow in the Philippines has created fairytale images of white landscapes and snowmen in her heart. It’s a childlike passion I too can reflect upon since we recieve very little of it here in Texas. Mostly, we just get ice.

My brother, his wife and the two of us hit a bed and breakfast in South Fork, Colorado over the holidays. Suffice it to say there was snow. It was also cold – friggin cold. Jennifer didn’t get to enjoy the snow too much but we exchanged a few snowballs and she made a most glorius snow angel before we retired back to the warmth of our room. The temperature, and the elevation, left us winded and weary but we enjoyed ourselves none the less.

After 13 hours of driving we made our way back home Christmas eve night. The drive, especially across plain Texas flatlands, gave me time to think. Perhpas too much time to think. All of the death & dying still weighed upon my mind. It’s hard being stuck in the mires of life. Zest fades quickly.

Yet golden moments appear from nowhere. Bruce, a fellow blogger and distant brother, sent a timely comment offering his prayers in the absence of my blogging. Without a second of disparity, as my eyes fell upon his words, Jennifer shouted, “It’s snowing!” Even I couldn’t escape the timeliness of those two events. Inspiration always throws a rope when you need it most (not necessarily when you think you need it).

I’m not one to give January 1st resolutions but I think perhaps it’s prudent at this point to offer such a vow. To inspire more, and to be more inspired, is my goal. A special thank you to those who live in such a way, every day.

One Response to Resolute

  1. bruce j kokko

    January 2, 2013 at 2:31 pm

    All of which is to say that we are all members of God’s kingdom: an eternal community founded and preserved by love. We are all in it together; there are no steppenwolves nor did God ever intend there to be. I’ve been teaching my adult class to understand the primary importance of trusting in God without compromise–that the Sin we are all called to repent of is a misplaced trust. Recent events in my own life tell me how far I am from my own teaching. Fortunately, God understands our frailty. Please join me, my brother, in relentlessly turning back to Christ in faith (not that you aren’t doing this, already)–even in the midst of all the question marks and carnage of the present world. I pray the Lord will grant you and your family a respite during the coming year.

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